Ned, my love, I received two letters from you on 27/9, as you know my birthday is on 25/9.
Your letters were the most wonderful gift. I am very grateful to you for you have made me very happy. Nedianko, I would give a lot to be able to see you now, to feel you close, to hold your hand, without the need to talk about everything that I went through, everything I endured during 4 years. For it is very difficult for me to talk or write about it, I do not think I have the words to describe it.
Anyone who has experienced Auschwitz firsthand, the concentration camp, cannot forget the atrocities and the evil they saw there -for the rest of their lives. 5000 people were burned (gassed) there daily, everyone, mothers and children up to 12 years of age, without any distinction whether they were sick or not, there was a routine, if you were liked by the SS you were spared, otherwise you were sent directly to the gas chambers.
You will never be able to understand it, even if G-d forbid you were there. You will not be able to comprehend the sadism and the lack of humanity, I would like to tell you briefly, I couldn't talk to anyone else about it, Nedianko, so I will do it here and now briefly. In March 1942 mother (my muti) left with the Transport to Terezin, in April the same year Fritz and myself followed her. We stayed with mother but for a short time. Then mother was taken to Poland. Nedianko, we have no mother, she was burned and gassed in the gas chambers. This great and good woman was taken from us in such a cruel way.
Then, they took Fritz and myself to Auschwitz. Upon arrival they separated me from Fritz; the man I so loved is gone. He too was burned in gas chambers. Then the Auschwitz ordeal had begun. As I mentioned earlier, 5000 people were gassed daily, there were also transports taking people to the hard labor camps in Germany. The "lucky" ones were sent to these camps if they were liked and picked by these "dogs". I too was sent to the labor camps. In Auschwitz they shaved our heads, gave us only wooden shoes and prisoner's clothes, without socks, without underwear, without soap or towels; shaved and naked we were sent like cattle on our way to German camps. I wasn't allowed to take even a tiny picture of Fritz with me. Then we arrived to a place called Matzenbach in Germany. There we were forced to dig trenches in freezing temperatures. Daily food ration was 150 gram of bread and murky filthy water called "soup". The work was arduous and waring out; we labored from 7 in the morning till 5 in the evening, with 15 minutes break at noon. We dug under the watchful eyes of the SS soldiers, there were horrific beatings and worse, I do not want to even go there. It was horrible. Every day we asked G-d to save us from this nightmare.
There were 200 women along with me, each day a few died from starvation or illnesses. I got sick twice with pneumonia but continued working, because women who didn't work were sent to gas chambers right away. When the Germans understood that Russians were getting closer and that they lost the war, they received an order to kill us all. Seven of us tried to escape Matzenbach and run towards the death concentration camp - Gross Rosen. I did not want to live like that any longer I wanted to get shot, that is why I tried to run away. Five of the women were shot shortly, and only my friend and I managed to escape, to our surprise. We survived. Until our liberation we went through seven gates of hell, but we survived. I was worn down (depleted), weighing 32 kilograms. I don't know why, but the Russians we met took us along with them. We reached the defense front lines, but the Ruissians took care of us. On our way we passed by Germany, Poland, Hungary, Slovakia and at the end of May I reached Brno. I was shocked by what I saw: the city was completely destroyed. I walked along the streets I loved so much and cried. I cried about my parents, my husband, my missing brothers, my friends - everyone was gone, dead, nothing survived - only two small Franciscan houses.